Wednesday, Oct 26, 2016
Is Your Spouse Stopping You From Achieving?
Disclaimer: I’ll put this at the top of the post so I don’t get in trouble at home! My partner, Nicole, is incredibly supportive of all my business ventures.
Is Your Spouse Stopping You?
A common problem people face when they try changing careers is dissatisfaction from their spouses. Their significant others may refuse to let them start a business or change careers. If you’re stuck in this difficult situation, then continue reading to learn why your spouse is stopping you from achieving (it’s not as bad as you might think) and what you can do about it, so that you both are happy. I haven’t personally been in this situation before but I have worked with people who have had this struggle and learned a few things from them to help others.
Think about the Real Reason They’re Resisting Your Change
First, you must understand why your spouse isn’t supportive of your dreams. Usually, it’s not for a malicious reason and has more to do with them than you. There are five core reasons a spouse doesn’t believe in your business:
- It will change your family’s routine
- It brings their deep-seated fears to the surface
- It goes against what they believe and value
- It requires a level of faith that they are too afraid to have
- It painfully reminds them that they’re stuck in their own career that they don’t like
Disrupting the Family’s Lifestyle
Every family has their own routine and way of doing things, and people are naturally resistant to change. Thus, when that flow is interrupted by a member, the others tend to show resistance or dislike of the change in some way. By you wanting to become a network marketer, it interrupts the family system, so your spouse may feel resistance. You can overcome this problem by having a discussion with your spouse about the changes that will come with becoming a network marketer and brainstorm ideas for finding middle ground. For example, eating dinner with the family may be something very important to your spouse, so you could agree to turn your phone off during dinner.
Another possible reason your spouse isn’t happy about network marketing is it brings up their hidden fears in relation to money, worthiness, freedom, wealth, risk, etc. Everyone is programmed with subconscious beliefs during childhood to help them make sense of the world. The term “programmed” makes it sound like some sort of conspiracy theory, but it’s not like that. It is a natural psychological process of our brains. Without programs, our bodies wouldn’t be able to function. If your spouse has negative subconscious beliefs about money or rich people, they may show resistance to your pursuit of greater wealth.
Beliefs, Values, and a Difficult Leap of Faith
Maybe network marketing goes against what your spouse believes and values. If they believe a person should be grateful to have a steady income from a career at a good company, then they won’t be happy about your networking idea. It also takes a leap of faith to pursue network marketing as a business because you’re not receiving a guaranteed paycheck every month. You may be able to make the leap of faith but your spouse might not be able to have that same level of faith.
Painful Reminder of Their Own Unhappiness
Lastly, your career change may remind them of their own dissatisfaction with their jobs and desire to break free from it. That can cause friction as well. If you suspect this is the reason, you can ask your spouse if they enjoy their jobs and why or why not. Assuming they aren’t happy with their career, you can lead the discussion to THEIR dreams. Then, let them know you’ll be willing to support them in finding work they love to do too. Or you could offer to work on network marketing as a team if it’s something you’d both be interested in.
How to Find Middle Ground When Your Spouse is Holding You Back
Sit down with your spouse in a place where you won’t be disturbed and where you have time to thoroughly discuss the issue. Based on what you think is the core reason why they’re holding you back, ask them questions relating to that reason and listen to their responses to gain a better understanding of where they’re coming from. They will appreciate your effort to understand their perspective.
Then, share your own thoughts, pains, and struggles. Explain to them why you want to get into network marketing. If you hate your job, then discuss how unhappy the career is making you. Let them know you can’t continue like that or you will break. Something has to change, even if it’s a small change in the beginning since it’s not always feasible to immediately quit your job.
If your spouse is worried that network marketing is a scam or spammy, then discuss how network marketing is one of the fastest growing industries and provide examples of successful, reputable network marketers. Well-known entrepreneurs and billionaires like Richard Branson and Bill Gates also endorse network marketing, which is another good fact to mention. Once your spouse sees its validity, they will become at least a little more open-minded to the possibility.
It’s very painful when your spouse doesn’t support your business idea or any other dream. However, you don’t have to let the discord ruin your marriage. It’s possible to find middle ground if you use good communication skills when expressing yourself and refrain from getting into a shouting match. Have you ever heard the saying “It’s not what you say but how you say it that matters”? That’s a good piece of communication advice. Put careful thought into how you express your desires and pains.
Is Your Spouse Stopping You From Achieving?,